I feel sad that I know some of you keep checking in hoping for words and there aren't any.
A precious friend said this week:
"Your writing matters. I know so many people who love to write and feel like it doesn't matter. But your story matters. We need your testimony. The goodness and faithfulness of God bursts forth when you write your story for others."
I can't even. I bawled like a baby.
There is so much more I could say now, but I'll let Five Minute Friday (wow, it's been so long) speak for me:
I wish I could explain what relief there is in being known. In being understood. In being valued. How safe it feels. How it wells up within me. When friends go out of their way to encourage you to write, to cheer you on, to beg you not to quit...relief. To feel like others see that this matters. It's not my work, it's something I've been given, and it matters to God and it matters to others.
I'm relieved that the lie I was told, that the lie I believed--that I shouldn't write. That it isn't my gig. Not my gift. It causes trouble. Creates division--It wasn't true. Too many others have said that it isn't true. God has said that it isn't. He made me a writer.
I'm relieved at all He is healing. I need more, long for more, but to feel Him and His pleasure in me, to know I'm safe in His arms no matter what others think of me? Sweet, sweet relief.
To be able to lie in my bed at night and rest. To lay it all down. To not feel the darkness choking the life from me. Relief.
Relief is a big sigh. Peace. Joy. Freedom. Laying your burdens down. Knowing you are safe and loved.
I have relief.
I have been relieved from fixing it all.
He is my Reliever.
I'm going to try to do better friends. I need to do this. Please don't stop encouraging me okay? Your encouragement means more than I can say. I need to press on toward what is ahead and forget what is behind. I need to embrace all that God has for me as a writer (among other things, obviously). Also I just need prayer. The enemy very intentionally attacked this part of me last year and I am still realizing what that did to me. I need to come back to the heart of this. Jesus' heart in this. His heart for me in this.
Love each of you. What does the word "relief" mean to you?