Tuesday, February 12, 2013

On the Eve of My 30th Birthday...


  • Nearly 10 years of marriage to a man who gets me and loves me anyway. The depth of our connection is indescribable. My true partner. My joy. My love.
  • A warrior boy with a big heart. He fights hard and strong in both real and imaginary ways. My boy. My firstborn boy.
  • A princess of a daughter who is finding her way in the world. Headstrong and stubborn, but so sweet and carries herself with such grace. A lover and a worshipper. My precious daughter.
  • My chocolate baby. Her deliciousness with her kinky curly hair and her big bright eyes. Every word she whispers. Her sweet skin nuzzled against mine. Singing, "Rain down your love on us. Rain down your love" at bedtime. Sweet, unexpected gift.
  • Long earred and fuzzy dogs. One young and silly. The other old and a gentle friend. Small gifts from His hand that add to my daily delight.
  • Scars that have healed. Many of them. Scars that once were bruised, open, raw, tender. That represented death and the cutting of it. They are HEALED. Faded pink lines. Return of FEELING where it once was. Joy in places only God can bring.
  • Five years since cancer whispered in and took my breath away. Five years since the days of laying on the couch wondering if I would ever get up. Five years. Oh how I rejoice over this birthday!!
  • A party planned, secretly. Flowers, candles, salad, pizza. A delectable cake with a bright pink "30." Tears, singing. My children gathered round, smiling, joyful. 
  • Friends entering. Old friends who have known me since we were innocents. Still playing in the fields, with dolls, taking naps. Old friends that watched me grow and grew up with me. Friends who hold joyous memories of late nights and Cookie Crisp, doll houses, swimming pools, dead legs, wrestling matches, school dances, drill team, so much laughter.
  • Friends who held my hand with the cutting and the sickness. Who cried when I cried. Who carried the burden with me. Friends who understand me better than a person ever should. Who get me without me saying a word. Long lost sister friends. Friends that I laugh hard with and cry hard with. Good friends.
  • Family who work with hands to put things together to be a blessing. Family who delights in me and my  joy and want me to know how much they love me. Family who go over the top and exhaust themselves...for me. Phone calls, decorations, keeping the secret...for me. Family who come and love me and have joy with me. Family.
So much more. I am full to the brim with His delight in me. That in realizing the fullness of their love, I catch a glimpse of His love. His love that is deep, and wide, and long and high. It is consuming. Oh how He loves.

Oh how He loves.

He loves me. Thirty-year-old.


Thank you Abba.

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