Good word from a friend: "It is not his will that sin and death rule. He did not design it this way. However, He does allow the effects of sin in the world to have their consequences. I don't know why He intervenes sometimes and not others. But I do know He is good. I know that He was weeping with me. I know His heart is grieved when we suffer. "
This is true and I think says better than I can how I feel about sickness: He did not cause it, but He does redeem it.
He has been revealing much to me this week. It has also been a week of great spiritual attack which I believe is directly correlated with the revelation I've received this week.
Many of you know that since I was diagnosed with cancer I've put on some weight. In my defense my ovaries have been suppressed since April 2008 and were removed April 2009 which naturally effects your desire to eat and how your body receives food. Weight has never been an easy thing for me. I'm a curvy, big-boned girl (really) and have never been "skinny" in my entire life. I tend towards overeating anyway but it has definitely gotten more out of control in the last months. I do believe part of it has been hypothyroidism (which I'm being treated for) but I also believe I've become lazy about how I view food. I've been praying about how to correct this problem.
Last Saturday God spoke to me about repentance. He started showing me that in being neglectful of how I view eating, I'm neglecting the price Jesus paid for me. Sunday he spoke to me:
~It is God's will that I am whole in my body.
~"For everything God created is good and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer...For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:4-5,8).
~Fitness is not about losing but about gaining!
~Fitness is not about intentions but intentional choices
~I need to not make excuses but admit I am ungodly in these areas.
~God is telling me this is not about legalistic actions (a crazy diet, killing myself with exercise) but about self-control and a change of heart and mind (pursuit of godliness).
I came home and put some scriptures up around the house to remind me of His healing power ("Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows...But He was pierced for our transgressions he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by His wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:4-5.)
To remind me to pray and give thanks for the food I'm receiving.
To remind me to move more.
To ask me if I'm really hungry.
To press me into Him.
I have had a very fruitful week in this area. I've been less hungry. I've eaten less. I have felt more self-controlled about food, but only when I've prayed and given Him thanks for what He has provided for me to eat. For some reason in recent months I have neglected this and I now ssee the importance isn't legalistic, but to get my mind right before I eat!
But I was attacked on Wednesday. I felt extremely fatigued and lethargic all day, similar to how I've felt for months on end when my thyroid has been messed up. An older man, a friend of my grandpa's, called me randomly and encouraged me by sharing with me that the Lord reminded him that his body, is not his body, but God's. God created it and indwells it and when the body is out of alignment (sick, hurt) it is not in God's will because He created it in perfection. So we can come against the enemy and speak to our body and say, "Thyroid I command you in the Name of Jesus to align yourself with God's perfect will and to work as you were created to." I prayed this Wednesday and I woke up Thursday feeling much better. Interesting no?
I was also attacked through family situations this week, which is interesting because I was doing some major intercession for them this week. I always want to keep before me that: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." He hates it when God's plan prevails and he will do what he can to try to wreck that. Fortunately we know who wins in the end! Praise You God!
I'm so grateful for His revelation, His protection, His leadership, and His authority. He has made us equal heirs with Jesus and that gives us so much more than we could ever imagine!!
"Bless the Lord! Oh my soul, oh my soul! Everything within me, bless the Lord!!